How to get kids to eat vegetables

How to get kids to eat vegetables

My boys eat pretty voraciously—eggs, hummus, even sushi—but every time I clean up after dinner, I notice the vegetables left on their plates. No peas, no broccoli, no zucchini, no thanks. So! In an effort to prevent them from getting scurvy, I tracked down 8 ways to encourage kids to eat the good stuff...Read More >
My boys eat pretty voraciously—eggs, hummus, even sushi—but every time I clean up after dinner, I notice the vegetables left on their plates. No peas, no broccoli, no zucchini, no thanks. So! In an effort to prevent them from getting scurvy, I tracked down 8 ways to encourage kids to eat the good stuff...Read More >
How to get kids to eat vegetables
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Our walk-to-school ritual

Our walk-to-school ritual

Toby's school is only five blocks from our apartment, and the best part of the whole walk (by far) is...Read More >
Toby's school is only five blocks from our apartment, and the best part of the whole walk (by far) is...Read More >
Our walk-to-school ritual
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Motherhood Mondays: Home as a haven

Motherhood Mondays: Home as a haven

Oh, these little boys. Be still my heart.

One of the most heartwrenching parts of motherhood, I've come to realize this fall, is watching your child go to school. With other kids. Who will be sweet sometimes, tease sometimes, play nicely sometimes, hurt feelings sometimes. How hard to think that all those little ones sometimes will feel lonely or left out or embarrassed or sad. I know those are good emotions, too (we're striving for wholeness, right?) but maybe not for him. Maybe just happiness for this child, okay?

Toby has had a somewhat tough time adjusting to a new school with new kids, many of whom have known each other for years. He enjoys school overall; he just has wobbly moments here and there. Plus, four-year-old Toby still seems so little. An exchange at the neighborhood playground the other day:
Another four-year-old: "Have you ever seen Star Wars?"
Toby: "No...have you ever seen Elmo?!!"

Well, as usual, the brilliant Jenny Rosenstrach must have read my mind because she recently wrote a Real Simple essay about her seventh-grade daughter, who was having a tricky time with some school friendships. Jenny didn't know how to help, so she did what any self-respecting adult woman does: she called her mom. Here's what happened:

She told me what I already knew: I’d have to sit this one out, as well as the next one and the one after that and the one after that, too. It was time to let the kids figure this stuff out on their own. But in a vehement tone that I imagine she reserves for her most unruly clients (she’s a real estate attorney), Mom did give me one tangible way to help: “You just make sure that when those girls walk in that door every day,” she said, “they never doubt that home is the most comforting place for them to be. That is what you can do.”

So that is what I will do: Make sure that when my children walk in the door every day, they never doubt that home is the most comforting place for them to be. We've slowed down our evening routine and added some rituals. We light candles at dinner, we play games on the floor, we pile onto the sofa to read books. And Alex and I have started putting Toby to bed together—instead of switching off, we focus on him, and lie down (with Toby in the middle), and talk and sing songs and give "challenges" (like "what sound does an owl make?" or "pretend you're swimming" or "count to 20") which Toby loves. And, the next morning, when Toby pads into our bedroom at 6am, and stands at my side of the bed saying "Mama? Mama?", I pull off my ratty sleep mask and give him a huge grin, no matter how exhausted I am. Home is a haven, a soft landing place, and no matter what happens in the outside world, they will always have that.

P.S. Do your eyes light up when you see your child?

(Photos of Toby and Anton playing ice cream shop by Winnie Au)
Oh, these little boys. Be still my heart.

One of the most heartwrenching parts of motherhood, I've come to realize this fall, is watching your child go to school. With other kids. Who will be sweet sometimes, tease sometimes, play nicely sometimes, hurt feelings sometimes. How hard to think that all those little ones sometimes will feel lonely or left out or embarrassed or sad. I know those are good emotions, too (we're striving for wholeness, right?) but maybe not for him. Maybe just happiness for this child, okay?

Toby has had a somewhat tough time adjusting to a new school with new kids, many of whom have known each other for years. He enjoys school overall; he just has wobbly moments here and there. Plus, four-year-old Toby still seems so little. An exchange at the neighborhood playground the other day:
Another four-year-old: "Have you ever seen Star Wars?"
Toby: "No...have you ever seen Elmo?!!"

Well, as usual, the brilliant Jenny Rosenstrach must have read my mind because she recently wrote a Real Simple essay about her seventh-grade daughter, who was having a tricky time with some school friendships. Jenny didn't know how to help, so she did what any self-respecting adult woman does: she called her mom. Here's what happened:

She told me what I already knew: I’d have to sit this one out, as well as the next one and the one after that and the one after that, too. It was time to let the kids figure this stuff out on their own. But in a vehement tone that I imagine she reserves for her most unruly clients (she’s a real estate attorney), Mom did give me one tangible way to help: “You just make sure that when those girls walk in that door every day,” she said, “they never doubt that home is the most comforting place for them to be. That is what you can do.”

So that is what I will do: Make sure that when my children walk in the door every day, they never doubt that home is the most comforting place for them to be. We've slowed down our evening routine and added some rituals. We light candles at dinner, we play games on the floor, we pile onto the sofa to read books. And Alex and I have started putting Toby to bed together—instead of switching off, we focus on him, and lie down (with Toby in the middle), and talk and sing songs and give "challenges" (like "what sound does an owl make?" or "pretend you're swimming" or "count to 20") which Toby loves. And, the next morning, when Toby pads into our bedroom at 6am, and stands at my side of the bed saying "Mama? Mama?", I pull off my ratty sleep mask and give him a huge grin, no matter how exhausted I am. Home is a haven, a soft landing place, and no matter what happens in the outside world, they will always have that.

P.S. Do your eyes light up when you see your child?

(Photos of Toby and Anton playing ice cream shop by Winnie Au)
Motherhood Mondays: Home as a haven
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8 questions to ask a new babysitter

8 questions to ask a new babysitter

When Toby was a newborn, I felt totally overwhelmed by the process of finding a nanny. How do you even begin? I wondered. Thankfully, over the past four years, we've figured out how to find wonderful babysitters, including 8 questions to ask...Read More >
When Toby was a newborn, I felt totally overwhelmed by the process of finding a nanny. How do you even begin? I wondered. Thankfully, over the past four years, we've figured out how to find wonderful babysitters, including 8 questions to ask...Read More >
8 questions to ask a new babysitter
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Kid's T-shirt

Kid's T-shirt

I can think of two little boys who would gladly wear this shirt. Made me laugh.

P.S. The ever-expanding bedtime routine.
I can think of two little boys who would gladly wear this shirt. Made me laugh.

P.S. The ever-expanding bedtime routine.
Kid's T-shirt
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24 Surprising Things about Parenting in the United States

24 Surprising Things about Parenting in the United States

In our Motherhood Around the World series, we talked to American moms who are raising their children abroad. This week, we turned the tables and talked to nine moms who grew up abroad and are raising their children here in the United States. Here are 24 things they have found surprising about parenting in the U.S....Read More >
In our Motherhood Around the World series, we talked to American moms who are raising their children abroad. This week, we turned the tables and talked to nine moms who grew up abroad and are raising their children here in the United States. Here are 24 things they have found surprising about parenting in the U.S....Read More >
24 Surprising Things about Parenting in the United States
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Sick little guys

Sick little guys

On Monday night at 10:30pm, Toby walked out of his bedroom, deliriously chatting a mile a minute. His forehead was burning hot, and he curled up next to me on the sofa, while I stared into his eyes and nodded along, trying to get him to come down to earth. I ended up sleeping in his bed to keep an eye on him, and his tossing body felt like a radiator. The next morning, he was still hot and his cheeks had developed a rash. We rushed him to the pediatrician, who then rushed us to the ER, fearing bacterial meningitis. After being poked and prodded for hours, and taking a long nap in my arms like a newborn, teary Toby was proclaimed safe and not seriously ill (with an unidentified virus). Thank goodness!

What a terrifying day. Moments like that make you realize with a shock how intensely you love your children.

Meanwhile, Anton, also feverish but not as severely, stayed home and cuddled with our babysitter. Or, as Alex joked, Anton is so rugged, he was probably chilling in a corner with an empty whiskey glass, chewing on a bullet.

These two boys. The loves of my life.

(Photo taken last night. Goodnight Moon always does the trick.)
On Monday night at 10:30pm, Toby walked out of his bedroom, deliriously chatting a mile a minute. His forehead was burning hot, and he curled up next to me on the sofa, while I stared into his eyes and nodded along, trying to get him to come down to earth. I ended up sleeping in his bed to keep an eye on him, and his tossing body felt like a radiator. The next morning, he was still hot and his cheeks had developed a rash. We rushed him to the pediatrician, who then rushed us to the ER, fearing bacterial meningitis. After being poked and prodded for hours, and taking a long nap in my arms like a newborn, teary Toby was proclaimed safe and not seriously ill (with an unidentified virus). Thank goodness!

What a terrifying day. Moments like that make you realize with a shock how intensely you love your children.

Meanwhile, Anton, also feverish but not as severely, stayed home and cuddled with our babysitter. Or, as Alex joked, Anton is so rugged, he was probably chilling in a corner with an empty whiskey glass, chewing on a bullet.

These two boys. The loves of my life.

(Photo taken last night. Goodnight Moon always does the trick.)
Sick little guys
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Raising your first child vs. second child (so different)

Raising your first child vs. second child (so different)

Alex and I were laughing the other day about how differently we've approached parenting with our second child versus our first. You learn to be so much more relaxed! Comedian Jason Good wrote this pitch-perfect comparison in his book This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing...

Raising Your First vs. Your Second Child
By Jason Good, father of two

Food
First Kid: All homemade in special baby-food processor. Quinoa! Spinach! Sweet potatoes!
Second Kid: Crackers.

Bed
First Kid: Crib that Daddy put together himself while Mommy yelled at him.
Second Kid: Mommy's bed. Daddy now has his own room with a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty socks.

Clothes
First Kid: One hundred percent organic cotton. Some even made of bamboo?
Second Kid: His brother's old clothes.

Parties
First Kid: In our backyard with a piñata hanging from the Japanese maple.
Second Kid: Pizza on the floor.

Bathing
First Kid: Every night in a special bathtub that's just the right size. Hand-washed with a soft cloth or silky sponge.
Second Kid: Twice a week. Swimming pools count.

Nighttime Routine
First Kid: Swaddled in a Miracle Blanket. "Baby Beluga" sung to him. Asleep by 7:30pm.
Second Kid: Falls asleep on the sofa with mom's boob in his mouth at 10:30pm.

Friends
First Kid: Playgroups, mommy and baby get-togethers in the park!
Second Kid: His brother's friends.

Toys
First Kid: All handmade out of wood. Mostly Swedish.
Second Kid: The boxes his brother's toys came in.

TV Rules
First Kid: PBS/Sesame Street only. Two 23-minute shows per day.
Second Kid: Has his own Netflix account.

Shoes
First Kid: Something European with an umlaut in its name.
Second Kid: Old muddy shoes with faded umlaut and missing sole insert.

Potty Training
First Kid: Diapers, then some kind of training underwear, then underwear.
Second Kid: Might crap in a diaper until college.

Babysitter
First Kid: A wonderful woman named Sarah, whom he loves and will cherish for the rest of his life.
Second Kid: Doesn't have one. We never go out.

P.S. The crazy things you do as a parent, and 20 surprising parenting tips.

(Top photo by Alpha Smoot of Kendra's adorable little ones; it was an outtake from this shoot. Book excerpt via Parents)
Alex and I were laughing the other day about how differently we've approached parenting with our second child versus our first. You learn to be so much more relaxed! Comedian Jason Good wrote this pitch-perfect comparison in his book This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing...

Raising Your First vs. Your Second Child
By Jason Good, father of two

Food
First Kid: All homemade in special baby-food processor. Quinoa! Spinach! Sweet potatoes!
Second Kid: Crackers.

Bed
First Kid: Crib that Daddy put together himself while Mommy yelled at him.
Second Kid: Mommy's bed. Daddy now has his own room with a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty socks.

Clothes
First Kid: One hundred percent organic cotton. Some even made of bamboo?
Second Kid: His brother's old clothes.

Parties
First Kid: In our backyard with a piñata hanging from the Japanese maple.
Second Kid: Pizza on the floor.

Bathing
First Kid: Every night in a special bathtub that's just the right size. Hand-washed with a soft cloth or silky sponge.
Second Kid: Twice a week. Swimming pools count.

Nighttime Routine
First Kid: Swaddled in a Miracle Blanket. "Baby Beluga" sung to him. Asleep by 7:30pm.
Second Kid: Falls asleep on the sofa with mom's boob in his mouth at 10:30pm.

Friends
First Kid: Playgroups, mommy and baby get-togethers in the park!
Second Kid: His brother's friends.

Toys
First Kid: All handmade out of wood. Mostly Swedish.
Second Kid: The boxes his brother's toys came in.

TV Rules
First Kid: PBS/Sesame Street only. Two 23-minute shows per day.
Second Kid: Has his own Netflix account.

Shoes
First Kid: Something European with an umlaut in its name.
Second Kid: Old muddy shoes with faded umlaut and missing sole insert.

Potty Training
First Kid: Diapers, then some kind of training underwear, then underwear.
Second Kid: Might crap in a diaper until college.

Babysitter
First Kid: A wonderful woman named Sarah, whom he loves and will cherish for the rest of his life.
Second Kid: Doesn't have one. We never go out.

P.S. The crazy things you do as a parent, and 20 surprising parenting tips.

(Top photo by Alpha Smoot of Kendra's adorable little ones; it was an outtake from this shoot. Book excerpt via Parents)
Raising your first child vs. second child (so different)
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What are your favorite parenting books?

What are your favorite parenting books?

A lovely reader recently asked me which parenting books I'd recommend. Such a good question! Here are our 15 favorites (and I'd love to hear yours)...Read More >
A lovely reader recently asked me which parenting books I'd recommend. Such a good question! Here are our 15 favorites (and I'd love to hear yours)...Read More >
What are your favorite parenting books?
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Conversations with a four-year-old

Conversations with a four-year-old

Now that he's 4 1/3 years old, Toby desperately wants to act grown-up, but of course he's still so little. He says such nutty, sweet things as he tries to navigate it all. (If only I could freeze him at this age! My nostalgia levels are sky high these days.) For example...

Me: “When Anton gets bigger, you can talk and read together.”
Toby: “When he gets bigger, we can be twins!"

Me: “Sorry I was on my computer this morning. I had a work emergency.”
Toby: “Did the firemen come?”

Toby: "Mama, how old are you?"
Me: "Thirty five."
Toby: "But that is so many years!!! How can you be that many years?!!"

He has always had an imaginary friend named Dun Dun, but now Toby also has an imaginary wife named Bo and two children—Matt, 6, and Janna, 2. They drive a silver minivan and live in Montclair, New Jersey. They go to dinner with their married friends, Brad and Mary, who have three kids: George, Stella and Paul. The whole thing is hilarious and totally bizarre, and I have no idea where it all came from. We spend a lot of time talking about his family. And he's a really nice dad! Toby often prefers to push Matt and Janna in the swings than swing himself, so he'll stand there talking to himself while pushing two empty swings. :)

"Can I sleep in my belly today?" (meaning taking a nap without a shirt)

Anton: "Doggee!"
Us: “Anton, that’s not a dog, that’s a llama.”
Toby: “Like North Carollama?”

He's also trying to figure out how to make jokes. For example, the other day he came up to me at the playground and said, "Hi, Mama, I’m Dr. Person! Dr. Person...Is that funny?"

Toby: "Did I come to your wedding?"
Me: "No, you weren’t born yet. You were almost in my belly, but not quite."
Toby: “So I wasn’t anymore?"

Me, at bedtime: “Would you like a story or a song?”
Toby: "No, Mama. Let's just talk."
Toby, I love you times a million. You'll always be my baby.

What have your kids been talking about recently? What are they into? How old are they? I'd love to hear...

P.S. Conversations with Toby when he was two, three, three-and-a-half and almost four. Plus, dates with your child. (And I cannot wait until little Anton starts talking!!!)

(Top photo from our trip to England)
Now that he's 4 1/3 years old, Toby desperately wants to act grown-up, but of course he's still so little. He says such nutty, sweet things as he tries to navigate it all. (If only I could freeze him at this age! My nostalgia levels are sky high these days.) For example...

Me: “When Anton gets bigger, you can talk and read together.”
Toby: “When he gets bigger, we can be twins!"

Me: “Sorry I was on my computer this morning. I had a work emergency.”
Toby: “Did the firemen come?”

Toby: "Mama, how old are you?"
Me: "Thirty five."
Toby: "But that is so many years!!! How can you be that many years?!!"

He has always had an imaginary friend named Dun Dun, but now Toby also has an imaginary wife named Bo and two children—Matt, 6, and Janna, 2. They drive a silver minivan and live in Montclair, New Jersey. They go to dinner with their married friends, Brad and Mary, who have three kids: George, Stella and Paul. The whole thing is hilarious and totally bizarre, and I have no idea where it all came from. We spend a lot of time talking about his family. And he's a really nice dad! Toby often prefers to push Matt and Janna in the swings than swing himself, so he'll stand there talking to himself while pushing two empty swings. :)

"Can I sleep in my belly today?" (meaning taking a nap without a shirt)

Anton: "Doggee!"
Us: “Anton, that’s not a dog, that’s a llama.”
Toby: “Like North Carollama?”

He's also trying to figure out how to make jokes. For example, the other day he came up to me at the playground and said, "Hi, Mama, I’m Dr. Person! Dr. Person...Is that funny?"

Toby: "Did I come to your wedding?"
Me: "No, you weren’t born yet. You were almost in my belly, but not quite."
Toby: “So I wasn’t anymore?"

Me, at bedtime: “Would you like a story or a song?”
Toby: "No, Mama. Let's just talk."
Toby, I love you times a million. You'll always be my baby.

What have your kids been talking about recently? What are they into? How old are they? I'd love to hear...

P.S. Conversations with Toby when he was two, three, three-and-a-half and almost four. Plus, dates with your child. (And I cannot wait until little Anton starts talking!!!)

(Top photo from our trip to England)
Conversations with a four-year-old
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Easy school lunches

Easy school lunches

What do you make for school lunches? Now that Toby's in school, we'll be packing a lunch every day. We got some Lunchbots, which have three or four compartments, and the goal is to fill them up with yummy healthy foods. As the year kicks off, I figured I'd create a big list of lunch ideas to have on hand...Read More >
What do you make for school lunches? Now that Toby's in school, we'll be packing a lunch every day. We got some Lunchbots, which have three or four compartments, and the goal is to fill them up with yummy healthy foods. As the year kicks off, I figured I'd create a big list of lunch ideas to have on hand...Read More >
Easy school lunches
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Toby's first day of school

Toby's first day of school

Today was Toby's first day of school. He was so excited about meeting the teachers, making new friends and wearing his motorcycle backpack (even though the only thing tucked inside was a toy car:). As we were leaving the house, a sweet neighbor offered to take a photo–a big thank you to him for capturing the giddy moment.

Hope all the kids out there are having a good first month!

P.S. Flashbacks: Toby as a newborn, his violin and a giraffe Halloween costume.
Today was Toby's first day of school. He was so excited about meeting the teachers, making new friends and wearing his motorcycle backpack (even though the only thing tucked inside was a toy car:). As we were leaving the house, a sweet neighbor offered to take a photo–a big thank you to him for capturing the giddy moment.

Hope all the kids out there are having a good first month!

P.S. Flashbacks: Toby as a newborn, his violin and a giraffe Halloween costume.
Toby's first day of school
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18 Surprising Things about Parenting in Chile

18 Surprising Things about Parenting in Chile

Thank you for being so enthusiastic about our Motherhood Around the World series. It has been an honor to share these women's personal stories, and we loved reading all your comments. We hope to do another round next year.

Our thirteenth—and final!—interview features Natasha Ngaiza. She moved from Philadelphia to Santiago, Chile, with her husband, David, and their young daughters, Mia and Sara. Here are 18 things that have surprised her about being a mom in Chile...Read More >
Thank you for being so enthusiastic about our Motherhood Around the World series. It has been an honor to share these women's personal stories, and we loved reading all your comments. We hope to do another round next year.

Our thirteenth—and final!—interview features Natasha Ngaiza. She moved from Philadelphia to Santiago, Chile, with her husband, David, and their young daughters, Mia and Sara. Here are 18 things that have surprised her about being a mom in Chile...Read More >
18 Surprising Things about Parenting in Chile
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Anton loves his thumb

Anton loves his thumb

Anton sucks his thumb all the time—while bathing, playing, even walking. But the other day at the playground, he pulled off his funniest move yet: He needed to hold on, so he just tilted his head and maneuvered to get to his thumb. Oh my gosh, I love that little multi-tasker!

P.S. Anton's first steps and seven armpits.
Anton sucks his thumb all the time—while bathing, playing, even walking. But the other day at the playground, he pulled off his funniest move yet: He needed to hold on, so he just tilted his head and maneuvered to get to his thumb. Oh my gosh, I love that little multi-tasker!

P.S. Anton's first steps and seven armpits.
Anton loves his thumb
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Gift idea: Puzzle with your child's lovey

Gift idea: Puzzle with your child's lovey

Over the past year, Toby has fallen in love with a stuffed animal named Mr. Fox. They cuddle together at night and, according to Toby, Mr. Fox tells really funny jokes. So...Read More >
Over the past year, Toby has fallen in love with a stuffed animal named Mr. Fox. They cuddle together at night and, according to Toby, Mr. Fox tells really funny jokes. So...Read More >
Gift idea: Puzzle with your child's lovey
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13 Surprising Things about Parenting in Turkey

13 Surprising Things about Parenting in Turkey

For our Motherhood Around the World series, our twelfth interview features Diane Zhang, who moved from Brooklyn to Istanbul with her husband, Josh, and 11-month-old son, Aaron. Here are 13 things that surprised her about being a mother in Turkey...Read More >
For our Motherhood Around the World series, our twelfth interview features Diane Zhang, who moved from Brooklyn to Istanbul with her husband, Josh, and 11-month-old son, Aaron. Here are 13 things that surprised her about being a mother in Turkey...Read More >
13 Surprising Things about Parenting in Turkey
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Our England vacation

Our England vacation

As I've mentioned, we just got back from visiting family in England, and I'd love to share a few photos, if you'd like to see...Read More >
As I've mentioned, we just got back from visiting family in England, and I'd love to share a few photos, if you'd like to see...Read More >
Our England vacation
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Tips for moving with kids?

Tips for moving with kids?

We're moving from Manhattan to Brooklyn this weekend, and I'm trying to figure out how to help the boys with the transition. We went to the library to read this book, and I've reassured Toby that his toys will be coming with us. But what else? Any advice? Here are a few tips I've heard...Read More >
We're moving from Manhattan to Brooklyn this weekend, and I'm trying to figure out how to help the boys with the transition. We went to the library to read this book, and I've reassured Toby that his toys will be coming with us. But what else? Any advice? Here are a few tips I've heard...Read More >
Tips for moving with kids?
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14 Surprising Things about Parenting in Australia

14 Surprising Things about Parenting in Australia

For our eleventh Motherhood Around the World interview, we talked to Gaby Fearn, who lives in Sydney with her husband and one-year-old daughter, Clementine. Here are 14 things she finds surprising about being a mom in Australia...Read More >
For our eleventh Motherhood Around the World interview, we talked to Gaby Fearn, who lives in Sydney with her husband and one-year-old daughter, Clementine. Here are 14 things she finds surprising about being a mom in Australia...Read More >
14 Surprising Things about Parenting in Australia
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20 Surprising Things about Parenting in Germany

20 Surprising Things about Parenting in Germany

For our tenth Motherhood Around the World interview, we're thrilled to feature Luisa Weiss, author of the blog The Wednesday Chef and book My Berlin Kitchen. Luisa lives in Berlin with her husband, Max, and two-year-old son, Hugo. Here are twenty things she found surprising about being a mom in Germany...
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For our tenth Motherhood Around the World interview, we're thrilled to feature Luisa Weiss, author of the blog The Wednesday Chef and book My Berlin Kitchen. Luisa lives in Berlin with her husband, Max, and two-year-old son, Hugo. Here are twenty things she found surprising about being a mom in Germany...
Read More >
20 Surprising Things about Parenting in Germany
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